#65: Raising Kids With Try Life On Intention

Write the Perfect Day…For Your Kids Too

The Diagnosis That Tried to Define a Life

In 2005 I sat in multiple rooms with doctors who told me everything my son would never do. He was 5 years old and just diagnosed with Autism at a time when it was not well understood.

They told me and his mom he would never speak, never drive, never have meaningful relationships, never graduate, and never live an independent life. At the time he was nonverbal and struggling in ways that were hard to process as a young parent trying to make sense of something far bigger than anything I had dealt with before.

What those doctors were offering was not guidance. It was a projection of limitation. It was a version of the future based on data, patterns, and probability. And while I understand where it came from, something in me rejected it completely.

There was a voice that said quietly "...this is not the full story".

Raising Kids with 'Try Life On' Intention - Podcast Ep. 159

Instinct Over Everything Else

I was not reading books about the subconscious or trying to apply any kind of philosophy. I was a 30-year-old broke Dad sitting in rooms where people in authority were telling me what my son’s life would look like. They essentially said he wouldn't have one.

My instinct said "...bullshit".

I refused to accept what I was hearing.

I made decisions based on feeling, pushed systems based on feeling, believed in something I could not prove based on feeling.

Years later I came to understand what I had been doing, holding a different image in my mind. I was choosing possibility over limitation, feeding my thoughts with what I wanted to see rather than what I was being told to accept.

DO NOT ACCEPT STATUS QUO IN ANY FORM OF LIFE.

Why the Perfect Day Matters

When I talk about writing your Perfect Day most think about lifestyle, about where they live, how they spend their time and what freedom looks like for them.

But there is another layer.

As a parent you are constantly shaping how your child sees themselves and what they believe is possible. That happens through what you say and what you believe.

Every time you accept a limitation as truth you reinforce it. Every time you expand what you believe is possible you create space for something different to emerge.

Writing a Perfect Day is not just designing life. It is deciding what you're willing to believe is possible before the world confirms it.

Fight for Environment... Not Just Outcome

A few years after that diagnosis it became clear that the environment my son was in was not serving him. The public school system, with class sizes of 25 to 30 students, could not provide the level of attention needed. His learning style required focus, structure, and support that was not available in that setting.

So his mom and I fought it.

That meant paying attorneys at $400/hr when we did not have the money. It meant pushing back against a system that was designed for efficiency, not individuality. It meant staying in the fight long enough for something to change.

Eventually the system relented but it took four years of fighting.

He was placed in a private school with smaller class sizes, dedicated support, and a focus on expressive and receptive language at the school system's expense ($40k/year for 5 years). That shift in environment changed the trajectory of his development. It changed his life.

Belief is not passive.

If you truly believe something different is possible your actions have to align with that belief. Your kids are dependent on your belief.

The Life That Was Not Supposed to Happen

Today my son is 26 and living a life that many people once told me would not be possible.

He drives his own car. He works in logistics for two companies. He has built a level of independence that those early conversations never accounted for. He flies between Georgia and Maryland on his own as part of his designed life. He now pursues bodybuilding with serious intent. He is a gentle giant, stronger than I will ever be. We have traveled together to places like Lebanon, Mexico, and Germany.

He graduated from Lesley University while being a competitive cross-country runner.

Note: We fought the Massachusetts State Board of Education and Lesley University to get him into Varsity Sports. Because he was in a specialized program he was not allowed to participate. We called bullshit on that too and won.

None of those outcomes were guaranteed. None of them were predicted. But all of them became possible once the narrative shifted from limitation to possibility.

NEVER TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.

ASK BETTER QUESTIONS (A TRY LIFE ON PRINCIPLE).

I Do Not Outsource Parenting Decisions

People have asked me over the years whether I talk to other parents about how to raise my kids. The honest answer is no.

That does not come from ego. It comes from experience.

When you sit in rooms with experts who confidently explain why your child will not succeed, and then you watch your child prove those assumptions wrong over time, you learn to trust a different source of guidance. You start to rely more on your instincts, your awareness, and your connection to your kid.

I am not against learning from others. I am against blindly accepting perspectives that do not align with what I know is possible.

Because in my mind everything is possible.

If you want more context on how I think about parenting, ambition, and intention, I went deeper on this in Raising Kids with 'Try Life On' Intention - Podcast Ep. 159. I break down how this shows up day to day not just in big moments like this.

Final Thought

When I look at my son today I do not think about what the doctors said.

I think about how close I came to believing them.

There is always a moment where you can accept the limitation and move on or reject it and step into the unknown without proof. That moment defines everything. That is Trying Life On for your family.

Because whether you realize it or not you are already writing a Perfect Day for them. Not on paper but through belief. Through what you accept as truth, what you challenge, and what you quietly hold as possible even when there is no evidence yet.

So before you accept anything as final pause and ask yourself one question. Is this truth or is this just what someone else believes is likely.

Because the Perfect Day you hold for your child, whether you ever write it down or not, is already influencing who they become. Make sure it is one worth growing into.

Maurice