#14: Create Your Own RealityOct 20, 2023
Summer’s coming to an end. Mine has been interesting…
Philanthropy work with a Cypriot sailing team, an offer on a Lebanese mountain farm, and helping my 10-year-old cultural exchange with French kids… (details below).
Oh… strangely, developing ‘composite characters’ for a TV show as an executive producer.
My partners are Emmy and Peabody award-winning producers who took me under their wings. We connected, in part, because of my travel and life idol, Anthony Bourdain.
I’m not a media person so I shouldn’t be with these high-caliber people, nor should I be doing unique things around the world, right?
Reality is negotiable.
Reality comes from being ‘anti-fragile’.
Reality comes from building meaningful relationships.
I’m not interested in the status quo. I’ve never chased notoriety or titles.
Prefer travel, relationships, meaningful work, and financial independence - with mistakes and heartbreak naturally playing a part.
I tend to push against ‘social norms’ in favor of independent thinking (not contrarian), which can be isolating until you find a life partner, friends, and circles of people who think similarly.
I’ve come to understand…
Reality is Negotiable
Came across the concept reading 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris in 2010.
“Stress-test boundaries and experiment with “impossibles,” you’ll quickly discover most limitations are ‘fragile’ collections of socially reinforced rules you can break at any time.”
Along with Tim’s info, my parallel careers, business ventures, travels, people I’ve encountered worldwide, and work promotions declined, have taught me to be ‘anti-fragile’ when it comes to ignoring social norms.
All the things people said were not possible, like being a full-time corporate executive and police officer at the same time, I just did them anyway.
Tim hit this again with Scott Patterson and Nassim Taleb on the Tim Ferris Show Podcast #691 this week which prompted this topic. It was a fascinating listen and reinforced my thinking.
Intention creates reality.
Here’s my summer… things I just did ‘anyway’.
- Executive producing 2 TV shows with two mentors – 1) 3-time Emmy and Peabody award-winning producer/director (8-time nominee) with 150 primetime shows to his credit; and 2) Executive producer of 30 years, 2 recent critically acclaimed movies and 15 internationally sold shows. Our projects will change millions of lives. I know it. My gratitude for them can’t be measured.
- Practiced living in Lebanon for several months. How to navigate, how to live. September, big decisions to make about a mountain farm I fell in love with. Made an offer.
- Helped my 10-year-old exchange time with French, Cypriot, and Armenian kids to better understand the world and languages. Life is bigger than his United States. He needs that understanding to push on norms later in life.
- Philanthropy work with the first bi-communal Cypriot team to sail around the divided island of Cyprus together (has to do with war of 1974). I get to be a part of something much bigger than me. It’s humbling.
- Negotiated with partners to reorient the $200M business we built in favor of life and family. Money is not a driver for me. Won’t chase it forever.
The status quo isn’t for me. I don’t say it to be contrarian. I say it because we’re blessed to be alive and should push into all it has to offer, wherever and with whomever it presents.
Those boundaries you have, challenge them. They’re not real.
Want a new creative career… do it.
Want to run for public office… do it.
Want marriage and kids in your 40s/50s… do it.
Want to say no to promotions in favor of time… do it.
Want a mobile lifestyle to be able to move around the world… do it.
Want a traditional lifestyle to be home with family and friends… do it.
What tends to stop people is the opinion of peers, coworkers, neighbors, and family, and defaulting to societal norms that are false boundaries.
Over the past 4 months my coaching student and his wife…
… left office life, virtualized part of their business, sold another part, and moved to Jamaica from Texas to “practice” a different life for a few months with their kids.
They negotiated a new reality; one they are much happier with.
And they’re letting me share their experience with you, live!
Four steps to create reality and Try Life On.
- Describe and write down your perfect day in extreme detail
- 5 freedom goals (time, financial, location, purpose, relationships)
- What are the blockers keeping you from reaching the goals
- Create the action items to get over the blockers
You now have your blueprint… A framework for perfect days. Won't happen every day (life happens) but you’ve got the right location(s) and setup.
Try Life On podcast ep. 23 is a live coaching session walking through the 4-step process mentioned above.
Absorb it. Use it. Build reality.
I got permission to air it specifically for YOU.
I hope this gives insight and motivation.
Be good to yourself and those around you. Live more. Forgive more.
Most of all, be intentional.
You deserve to Try Life On more.